Ranking All the Terrace House Members

Netflix’s Terrace House is the epitome of anti-reality TV. Whereas unscripted American programs thrive by filling the screen with fist pumping bros, Snookis, and other assorted drunken archetypes, Terrace House, Japan’s answer to the Real World, flips the genre on its head. Yes, the show, which just finished up its fourth (and best) iteration yet, still follows the same template we’ve seen many times before. Gather young attractive twentysomethings in a house and watch as they devolve into chaotic debauchery. Except, with Terrace House, the results are far from what you’d expect.

Instead of a precipitous rain of messy drama, arrests, and brawling cast mates, whole blocks of Terrace House often disappear into the quiet calm of food prep, causal dating, and roundtable discussions of professional goals and how to achieve them. It sounds mundane, but it’s actually quite magical. Time Magazine listed Terrace House as their number #6 TV show of 2018 and if you haven’t watched it yet, you should do so. Like right now (starting with the Opening New Doors season).

Until then, here are all the Terrace House members ranked (this list includes house members from the first two parts of Tokyo 2019-2020. Any asterisk denotes house members that are still active in the house. Unfortunately, no Boys x Girls Next Door members are on this list, as that season still remains unavailable in the US. It sounds like a great season and would be included if I had a way of watching it, but I don’t, so I can’t do much about that):

62. Hayato (Boys and Girls in the City)

Hayato was trash. He was a low key creep, who, when confronted about being a creep, creep-dodged and left poor Rikopin out to dry. I’ll never come to your hypothetical restaurant, Hayato. One-star review for your life.

Worst Moment: The Ripokin scandal

61. Cheri (Aloha State)

It doesn’t surprise me that Wez and Cheri were friends on the show, because they were both wastes of Terrace House space. Cheri was a Miss something in Hawaii, which was baffling since she was a trash monster who would say things like, “You’ve lost your place on my list” and “I think protecting someone’s feelings is a weakness”. Boo, Cheri! Boo!

Worst Moment: “Distancing” herself

60. Yuudai (Opening New Doors)

It’s tempting to put Yuudai last, but a majority of his petulant behavior can be chalked up to immaturity that he could one day grow out of. I honestly don’t think he will, but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt since everyone is stupid when they’re 19. And I mean, he did provide some classic Terrace House moments. Smell those onions, Yuudai! Smell them!

Continue reading