Ranking the Top 100 ‘Lost’ Characters

Ah, Lost. You beautiful hot mess. I’ve missed you.

With this past May marking the 10 year Anniversary of its final episode airing, I decided to revisit the show in earnest, something I hadn’t done in a decade’s time. And I have to admit, I was shocked how much of the show I had forgotten outside the impressionable first season and the muddled finale episodes. So much so that I thought it would be worthwhile to make a comprehensive character guide to memorialize the scattershot of characters on ABC’s infamous sci-fi island nonsense drama.

My only rule for making this list was a that character had to appear in more than one episode to make the rankings (although I’ve included a few single appearance character, so even that is a flimsy requirement).

But whatever, let’s do this:

100. Stuart Radzinsky

Radzinsky was the most frustrating season five Dharma dweeb and worthy of Lost’s all-time worst character title. Abrasive and irrational, and not in an amusing way like Artz or Frogurt, Radzinsky was a dull attempt at an antagonist in a season of floundering ideas. There’s a theory floating around that Leonard, the man who gives Hurley the numbers in the asylum, was a later verse Radzinsky, but honestly who cares? This character was the worrrrssst.

Worst Moment: Pushing the killing Sayid platform

Quick Fix for this Character: Have a piano fall on Radzinsky every episode

99. Horace Goodspeed

So, let me get this straight, Horace was so worried about keeping the truce with the Others, that when he captured Sayid, a man he believed to be an Other, he voted to kill him to protect the truce? I don’t think he gets how truces work. One-star review as leader.

Worst Moment: All of Them

Quick Fix for this Character: Make Horace a dancing robot

98. Phil

I cheered when Phil was impaled by that flurry of rebar. It was his finest moment as a character. Another bargain bin dharma dweeb dispatched by the Island.

Worst Moment: Attempting to kill Sawyer

Quick Fix for this Character: Have him fall down a well every episode

97. Jacob

Ah yes, everyone’s favorite resident island overseer/protector/Norman Bates. After begging Lost for answers, you almost wish they hadn’t given you Jacob’s backstory, because what you got was a dull Cain/Abel yarn, rounding out as one of Lost’s all-time worst episodes (Jack’s Tattoos and Aaron forced baptism are in the mix too).

Worst Moment: Realizing Jacob is pure nonsense

Quick Fix for this Character: Make him a talking animated cat

96. Mother

Woof. This character. Poor Allison Janney gets stuck playing Jacob and MiB’s unstable mother in the aforementioned trash fire episode. Silly nonsensical turns and wishy-washy lore bog down what should have been intriguing world-building.

Worst Moment: All of them

Quick Fix for this Character: More exposition to inform her actions

95. Ethan Rom

Ethan’s infiltration of the 815 passengers made absolutely no sense. He’s way too creepy for sleeper cell work. His resting creep face is a dead giveaway. I would 100% remember seeing this nightmare of a person if he was sitting next to me on a plane. Plus, I’m going to hold it against him that it’s later revealed that Ethan is Horace’s son. But as far as creeps go though, he’s a great creep. A+ creep work.

Worst Moment: Hanging Charlie from a tree

Quick Fix for this Character: Turn down the creep

94. Eloise Hawking

I truly believe the show had no idea what to do with this character, because she was full of platitudes, lies and nonsense. The faux Godmother of the island sacrifices her only son (a perfectly good Daniel Faraday) to the Gods of the island, because why? Because reasons. Boo!

Worst Moment: Sacrificing Faraday

Quick Fix for this Character: Sacrifice herself

93. David Shephard

You’re not a real boy, David! You’re just make believe! Shoo! Shoo!

Worst Moment: Mopey Jack

Quick Fix for this Character: Have Ben Linus play this role without any explanation

92. Dogen/Lennon

What a waste of Hiroyuki Sanada and John Hawkes. Why are people so committed to giving these two such terrible roles? Remember when John Hawkes was nominated for an Academy Award for Winter’s Bone? Or when Hiroyuki Sanada looked like the second coming of Toshiro Mifune because of his stellar work in Last Samurai? I do!

Worst Moment: The poisoning Sayid plan

Quick Fix for these characters: Give them both sunglasses and rename them the Dogen brothers

91. Bea Klugh

You wouldn’t be blamed for forgetting Bea, one of the many fake out “leaders” of the Others. Although it’s extreme, she does go out like a champ, choosing death-by-Mikhail instead of spilling the beans to the survivors of flight 815. But again, that route seems highly unnecessary considering what we later learn about the Others.

Worst Moment: Asking Michael to murder his friends in exchange for Walt

Quick Fix for this Character: Pick an early leader for the Others and stick with them

90. Oldham

The Dharma Initiative has a torturer who lives in a tent and torturers people by giving them tabs of acid? Sure, Season 5, whatever you say. William Sanderson is a solid character actor (see: Deadwood and Blade Runner), but even his reliably quirky energy can’t salvage this misstep of a character. This episode is torture itself.

Worst Moment: The glamping torturer  

Quick Fix for this Character: Have him torture Sayid with slam poetry

Continue reading

Top Ten Movies Of The Decade

Conor and Eric discuss their top ten films of the decade along with selecting a best overall year and best director for the 2010s. A 2010s themed trivia round starts at: (01:26:20).

Top Ten Lists (with timestamps from the podcast)

(Eric)
10. The Big Short (3:45)
9. Knives Out (10:10)
8. Spotlight (15:40)
7. Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation (25:45)
6. Blade Runner 2049 (36:35)
5. Interstellar (42:10)
4. Social Network (47:00)
3. Arrival (55:00)
2. Inception (01:01:55)
1. Mad Max: Fury Road (01:10:20)

(Conor)
10. Avengers: Infinity War (06:45)
9. Parasite (12:55)
8. Moonlight (21:30)
7. Dunkirk (30:50)
6. Arrival (39:40)
5. Get Out (44:35)
4. Hunt for the Wilderpeople (52:05)
3. La La Land (58:10)
2. Whiplash (01:07:20)
1. Mad Mad: Fury Road (01:10:20)

Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker Review

Conor and Eric review the apparently controversial ‘Rise of Skywalker’ and stumble through a round of Star Wars based trivia.

Movie Grades for Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker:
Conor – B-
Eric – C

Movie Trivia: [1:00:30] mark

Music By: Andrew David Vilaythong (andrewdavidv.com/)

Liz and Eric’s Top Movies of 2019

Liz’s Top Five

I didn’t get around to watching all the movies I wanted to this year, but here are my Top 5 and Honorable Mentions from the ones I did manage to watch. -Liz

Parasite

You are going to see this movie at the top of so many lists, so much so that you are not going to want to believe the hype. But go ahead and believe it. Bong Joon-ho isn’t exactly a new-to-the-scene crasher this year, as he has already had other films bring him international success outside of Korea. But this may the first one that pierces (sans snow) into everyone’s deepest and darkest societal fears.

Bong is particularly clever at crafting scenes that slowly build up to what no one wants to say out loud about how people can be so cruel to each other in moments of desperation or selfishness.

The main focus may be Kang-ho Song’s family trying to reap the benefits of Sun-kyun Lee’s family, but if you watch it a second time, it is particularly brutal to see both how patriarchs make decisions for their respective families, that in the end define how they truly see each other. The stark contrast of each family’s lives will inevitably bring them face to face with their deepest and darkest selves. That is when the film makes you feel afraid of trusting anyone ever again.

JoJo Rabbit

When Conor first pitched going to watch this movie before I had seen anything about it, I tried to explain it to a friend. I explained that I knew there were Nazis, a New Zealand director was playing Hitler and was under the impression that it was going to be animated.

Ok, so it wasn’t animated. But this movie is beautifully colored with warm-hearted characters and pure-intentioned humans all living in a very real world of oppression and war. This is probably the first role that I’ve really like Scarlett Johansson in as JoJo’s mother.

Watching Taika Waititi play the main character’s imaginary friend, who also happened to be Hitler, made me laugh a little too loud in the theater. Both Roman Griffin Davis and Thomasin McKenzie brought huge emotions to the screen like seasoned pros. Being able to joke about Nazis and Hilter in the way this movie did would probably put a lot of people off, but Taika’s directing skills really shine in how the story was told, focusing on how true heroism is in the form of people caring for each other as humans instead of what they believe (or not) believe in. 


The Farewell

Movies about cultural family dynamics that are often hidden from society always hits my heart hard. Watching Awkafina navigate what it meant to be a granddaughter and daughter living in America who only truly felt that she was home in China was perfect in so many ways.

In America, there was a certain way she had to live and carry expectations. When she returns to China to spend time with her ailing grandmother, her guilt grips her as must listen to her family’s wishes not to deliver the solemn news everyone has chosen to withhold, a practice common with Chinese families.

Even deeper within her family, there are other expectations that come to light that might not seem so obvious to Western eyes–like the incredible sense of pride elders have when it comes to upholding status if something were to look cheap, or being forced to be married in order to give the rest of the family a sense of togetherness, or even simple language barriers that are used to shame or celebrate our own culture.

The amah in the film is so special. Her vibrancy with all her hard and soft edges made me think of my own nanay. How I missed so many of these little moments with her before she passed as a grandchild who lived apart from an entire family back home. Overall, the film had a quiet force that really made it bloom, its celebration of family as they are instead of how they should be.

Booksmart

I’m embarrassed to say I slept on this movie almost all year until someone demanded I watch it. Everything about senior year shenanigans is done on another level, propelled by its two leading ladies Kaitlyn Dever and Beanie Feldstein. Two hardworking nerdy feminists find out they nearly wasted high school solely on booksmarts when everyone else lived it up and still gained the same academic accomplishments.

This discovery sends them into one party crashing night of enlightenment, a grand finale that your teenage self could only dream of fulfilling. When I was their age I too lived it up on my last night as a senior by going to a bonfire at one of the skater kid’s house, except I didn’t have a wingwoman and I didn’t drink or smoke and I was promptly home before 9p like the total Plain Jane that I was.

I deeply appreciated the pokes at the two main characters when other classmates pointed out their flaws to them. To watch their little bubbles burst was tormenting in a good way, because seriously, why work so hard to experience no joy in life? This little film was a humble reminder for us all. Also, bonus points to Olivia Wilde in her directorial debut.

Avengers Endgame

Full Disclosure. All about that Marvel life. Been all about that Marvel life since Iron Man. Team Robert Downey Jr, NOT Team Edward. (Fun fact, Twilight did indeed come out the same year.)

Endgame is an action packed blockbuster that makes you feel all the feels. It is the culmination of 11 years of Marvel movies and a solid B+ in my book. Lots of stories that needed to end felt like they came to a justified closed. The bromances had their tender moments. We saw a demigod go through a very real bout of depression. The fights were so epic I felt I had to watch them 10 times just to catch all the tiny details.

But as I mentioned to Conor, it was a shame how forced and out of place the women felt in this last Avengers movie. As cool as the girl gang looked in the final battle, why did they only have one major scene after ScarJo exited stage right? Also, no love for ScarJo (like I said, she’s grown on me this year) after all the work she put in for the Avengers, being one of the only women in the original “Assemble!”? Saying she gets her credit in her very own movie next year doesn’t quite cut it.

I might have cried several times during this. I also knew the Cap could wield Mjölnir, because he’s goddamn Cap.

Honorable Mentions

Always Be My Maybe: All about two Asian American Leads, but their chemistry fell short. Probably because they are besties in real life and making out was real weird. But also, this.

Hustlers: Constance Wu stepping outside a typical role for herself, Jennifer Lopez being a total boss, an Usher appearance just to slap JLo’s ass.

Homecoming: Beyoncé needs no explanation.

John Wick 3: Keanu Reeves riding a horse like Legolas, Halle Berry, Halle Berry’s dogs.

Marriage Story: ScarJo is on my list 3 times, how about that. I guess that means I forgive her for Match Point after all these years. No doubt she acted the hell out of this one, along with Adam Driver, who in all his intensity has a very comedic scene involving a very small keychain.

Eric’s Top 10 of 2019

1. Knives Out

The most fun I’ve had at a movie in a long time. Great mystery, with memorable characters and lots of laughs, Rian Johnson shows he can continue to make a great genre movie while subverting the genre at the same time.

2. Jojo Rabbit

Taika Watiti is still batting 1.000 in my book as he puts together a funny, sincere, and honest coming-of-age story with a good message and great acting by ScarJo and a young cast.

3. Avengers Endgame

What a thought – a franchise that sticks the landing. Emotionally charged, this epic conclusion to the MCU exceeded expectations and brought a close to some memorable characters.

4. Parasite

This was a wild ride. The movie changes tones a couple of times, but each part is a delight and masterfully done. I think this may go down as one of the best movies of the decade.

5. Toy Story 4

While I don’t think this movie was ultimately needed, I still loved it. The story is solid as always, and so is message, and it seems like a good sendoff for the franchise, but so did the last one, so who knows if they’ll make more. But I’m glad we get one more entry here.

6. Us

While I think I enjoy Get Out more, this is another well-done pseudo-horror film by Jordan Peele. This one is a bit weirder and has a lot more subtext going on, but I like the social commentary that Peele layers throughout.

7. The Standoff At Sparrow Creek

This one surprised me. Really well-done thriller, boosted by the fact that it was done on a low budget. The ending may be a bit divisive so your mileage may vary on how you enjoy it.

8. El Camino

Another follow-up that I didn’t think was needed but I’m glad we got it. Aaron Paul returns and is great again as Jesse Pinkman. I loved how this continued his story but also enhanced some parts of Breaking Bad as well. And it has one of the best standoff scenes in recent memory to boot.

9. Booksmart

It is indeed Superbad with female leads, but it’s still hilarious and Billie Lourd steals the show in outrageous fashion.

10. Doctor Sleep

A sort-of sequel to The Shining, director Mike Flanagan stays red-hot with this eerie horror film. Ewan McGregor and Rebecca Ferguson are amazing, and it does a great job of riding the line between honoring the 1980 film and creating an original and compelling horror/thriller.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

  • Deadwood
  • The Report
  • Marriage Story
  • The Irishman
  • Ready Or Not
  • Midsommar
  • How To Train Your Dragon 3
  • Captain Marvel
  • Spiderman Far From Home
  • Arctic
  • Once Upon A Time… In Hollywood

WANT TO SEE

  • Apollo 11
  • The Farewell
  • Fighting With My Family
  • The Last Black Man in San Francisco
  • The Lighthouse
  • Little Women
  • 1917
  • Richard Jewell
  • Rocketman
  • Uncut Gems
  • A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood
  • Ford v Ferrari

2019 Movie Mashup

This is my 2019 Movie Mashup. There are about 116 movies mixed in this year. The actual top 25 list should be up sometime this weekend, along with a video countdown this year. Hope everyone had a great year!

Song’s Used:

Vivaldi – ‘The Four Seasons’

Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons – ‘Can’t Take My Eyes off You’

Berlin – ‘Take My Breath Away’

The Beach Boys – ‘I Get Around’

M83 – ‘Outro’

2018 Mashup

2017 Mashup

2016 Mashup:

Movies used:

Continue reading

Midsommar Review

The podcast reviews the summer’s feel good movie ‘Midsommar’ and puts Eric though the wringer with a movie endings trivia round (24:10 mark). Midsommar Review Conor – B Eric – B- Music By: Andrew David Vilaythong (andrewdavidv.com/)

‘I Am Mother’ Review

The podcast does a mini review of Netflix’s sci-fi sleeper hit ‘I Am Mother’ and subjects Eric to a round of sci-fi themed movie trivia (19:20 mark).

I Am Mother Review 
Conor – B+
Eric – B+

Music By: Andrew David Vilaythong (andrewdavidv.com/)

(Double Feature) ‘Captain Marvel’/’Us’ Review

The podcast catches up with reviews of ‘Captain Marvel’ and ‘Us’, discusses the new Star Wars trailer, and puts Eric though another round of movie endings trivia (49:20 mark).

Captain Marvel Review (0:1:00 mark) 
Conor – B –
Eric – A-

Us Review (29:45 mark)
Conor: B+
Eric: B+

Music By: Andrew David Vilaythong (andrewdavidv.com/)

‘Glass’ Review

Conor and Eric review ‘Glass’, debate how dumb the movie really is, and put Eric through the wringer with an M. Night themed trivia round (trivia starts at: 34:50).

*Glass Review: 
Conor – C
Eric – C+

*(Spoilers start at 11:30)

Top 5 M. Night Movies:
Eric:
1. Unbreakable
2. Sixth Sense
3. Signs
4. The Village
5. Split

Conor
1. Sixth Sense
2. Unbreakable
3. Signs
4. Split
5. The Village

Music By: Andrew David Vilaythong (andrewdavidv.com/)