The Diverse Vibrancy of Japan

This superb video travelogue from filmmaker Vincent Urban is a wonderful example of why Japan is at the top of my list for places to visit next. As the video shows, Japan is such a vibrant country in a diversity of ways. The dichotomy, pitting old traditions against eccentric sub cultures, produces a unique and spirited cultural landscape. One that I hope to visit soon. Plus, I mean, they have the Ghibli Museum and crazy robot shows, so that alone would be worth the trip.

No One is Happy in the New Game of Thrones Trailer

Today, HBO released the most thorough look yet at the upcoming season of Game of Thrones, utilizing a bleak montage set to always depressing tune of Chris Issac’s ‘Wicked Game’ (performed by James Vincent McMorrow in this case) to bring us up to speed on our favorite Westeros denizens. Unsurprisingly, everyone looks about as good as you think they would, which is to say they look terrible. I’m trying to figure out which character is remotely close to actually being content in this trailer (happiness seems to be completely off the table at this point, so let’s just stick with contentedness). You could maybe argue that it’s Cersei. Even though Cersei’s world is wrecked, you can tell she’s going to enjoy getting revenge with her undead zombie Ser Robert Strong (aka more than likely the zombie Mountain).

And not to dive too much into speculation, but even though we see confirmed dead Jon Snow shots, this screengrab of Davos appears to show him coming for Jon Snow’s body (more than likely to bring to Melisandre for revival purposes) and another screengrab shows what looks like a reanimated Jon Snow riding into battle. So….yeah. It’s also nice to see Bran and his new haircut back in the mix, even though it looks like he’s in a tough spot with the White Walkers.

This season will definitely be an interesting one, as it marks the first time no one outside of the cast and showrunners will know what lies ahead. Devout book fans will no longer be able to lord the knowledge of future events over the poor souls who haven’t read the books. The playing field for fandom will be leveled and I think it will actually be a welcome change. Everyone can now just enjoy the show without having to worry about keeping any commentary spoiler free. Season 6 premieres April 24, 2016 on HBO.

Every Frame A Painting : The Coen Brothers

Cinephiles rejoice. Tony Zhu’s superb Every Frame A Painting series has a new episode. This week’s entry highlights the cinematography of the Coen’s Brothers (specifically the use of shot/reverse shot in their films), examining how seemingly innocuous camera work is more meaningful than you would think at first glance. Zhu’s series, which has long been a favorite of mine, continues to offer a lot of quick and clean insight into cinema and I would highly recommend his series to anyone who has an interest in film beyond the casual moviegoer. If you like this video, be sure to visit Zhu’s youtube channel.

Eric’s Best Movies of 2015

(Eric’s second opinion list got buried in the original post, so he is getting his own post for his list)


poster_3_fury_road_mad_max_by_cesaria_yohann-d8rd4501 – Mad Max: Fury Road – The craziest movie I have ever seen. It felt like a two-hour long action scene, packed full of amazing stunts. I get bummed out when I hear anyone say that they haven’t seen it yet, because they’ll never be able to experience it on the big screen like I did, which really made it that much better. I can’t wait for George Miller to make more films set in this insane universe he’s created. (Trailer)

Best Scene: Max’s fight on the pole-cat as the tanker explodes. I remember Sam and I looking at each other when that happened.

 

9jxobVn2 – The Revenant – While Mad Max was two hours of crazy fun, this is 2+ hours full of complete brutality and human suffering. The film is shot to make the viewer feel like they are there with DiCaprio, by using natural light and long takes. It sounds like the production was a long, winter-ish nightmare but what came out of it was beautiful. (Trailer)

Best Scene: I won’t spoil it, but “Domhnall and a Tree Branch.” The bear attack is a close second.

 

 

star wars3 – Star Wars: The Force Awakens – Yeah, there was no way I wouldn’t love this movie. I think Conor is going to put it higher, and I’d love to, but while it was immensely satisfying, I did have some minor complaints with the plot and some of the character choices. However, it was exactly what I was hoping for in a new Star Wars movie, and I cannot wait for the next one to come out (in 18 months). (Trailer)

Best Scene: Snow falling on sabers

 

 

Stacey-Aoyama-Eric-Tan-Inside-Out-Movie-Poster-Disney-20154 – Inside Out – Pixar can really do no wrong, though I haven’t loved a movie of theirs in a few years, until this came out. While it wasn’t as funny as I would have hoped, the world they created was fun to explore and it really brought the feels. It probably goes in the top 5 of Pixar films for me (Up, The Incredibles, Toy Story 3, Monsters Inc). (Trailer)

Best Scene: Poor Bing Bong!

 

 

spotlight5 – Spotlight – This film is really well done, very informative, and made me extremely upset about the topic. You really don’t get these kind of investigative movies anymore, but I wish there were more like this one. (Trailer)

Best Scene: When the expert tells the journalists on the phone that the number of cases they’ve uncovered are way too low for the size of a city like Boston.

 

 

 

sicario-movie-poster6 – Sicario – Villinueve is now a director that’s a must-see for me, especially after how much this movie brought the suspense. Also, good to see that Benicio Del Toro can still kick ass. (Trailer)

Best Scene: The prisoner transport over the border.

 

 

 

 

01-altposters7 – Ex Machina – A realistic sci-fi film that can be quite slow at times, but very thought-provoking. Oscar Isaac and Domnall Gleeson are just straight killing it. (Trailer)

Best Scene: Obviously the dance scene.

 

 

 

 

 

martian_ver68 – The Martian – Loved the book and the movie was a great adaptation, especially with the humor and what Matt Damon brought to the character. Though there were two big events near the end of the book that I really wished they had put in the movie. (Trailer)

Best Scene: When Watney finally makes contact with Earth via the Pathfinder

 

 

 

missionimpossibleposter9 – MI Rogue Nation – Tom Cruise is a messed up human being, but he’s a damn good actor. I never saw Spectre, but apparently the Mission Impossible series is becoming a much better spy franchise. The new additions, Rebecca Ferguson and director Christopher McQuarrie, were pretty awesome and I’m glad to hear that both of them will be back for the next film in the franchise. (Trailer)

Best Scene: The entire opera scene. Very Hitchcock-esque.

 

 

 

the-big-short-teaser-poster10 – The Big Short – A very interesting take and look in to the housing crisis that caused the 2008 economic recession. Filmed half like a faux documentary, you’d think a film about such a complex and confusing topic would be hard to watch but it was instead quite funny and enjoyable. They often cutaway from the plot and used famous people to explain a complicated topic, such as Selena Gomez and Anthony Bourdain, to much amusement. (Trailer)

Best Scene: JENGA! Also Carrell and Gosling are awesome in every scene.

 

Honorable Mention Scene: Michael Pena’s heist pitches from Ant-Man

Honorable Mention Movies: Steve Jobs, Ant-Man, Bridge of Spies

Haven’t Seen Yet But Want To: Anomalisa, Carol, Room, Crimson Peak, Bone Tomahawk

Best Movies of 2015

Movie-banner

This is my Favorite Movies of 2015 list (along with a second opinion from Eric Sweeney at the bottom). As all movie lists are, this list is highly subjective and probably has a few dumb movies on it. What can I say? It’s a sickness. Even then, there are still quite a few movies that I haven’t gotten around to seeing yet, so no yelling about your favorite film being excluded if it appears on the haven’t seen yet list at the bottom*. If it didn’t make either of those lists, then have at it with the internet yelling (And yes, I saw the Hateful Eight already, but did not dig it. Sorry. Well made, but not my jam).

star-wars-force-awakens-official-poster

1. Star Wars: The Force Awakens – Admittedly, my bias was strong with this one. The Force Awakens was always going to occupy this slot unless it was terrible. But it wasn’t. I loved it. The new cast members were fantastic, the old reliables were solid, the script was sharp and the film itself set a promising tone for the rest of the Skywalker saga. I don’t care if it was a mild retread of A New Hope. It was wonderful. (Trailer)

Best Scene: Snow falling on sabers

Watch This If You Like: A New Hope, Things that are not the Star Wars prequels, JJ Abrams reboots

madmaxnewposter1_large2. Mad Max: Fury Road – Certainly the surprise hit of the summer, Mad Max stunned viewers by actually living up to expectations set by its insane looking trailer and in some ways even surpassing it. Even with a bit of green screen in play, this movie is a prime example of why it pays to shoot on location. No digitally created environment can trump how the barren deserts of Namibia look in this film. (Trailer)

Best Scene: That two hour chase scene/Many mothers reveal

Watch This If You Like: The Road Warrior, two hour chase scenes, witnessing War Boys reach the gates of Vahalla

 
the-martian-104112-poster-xlarge3. The Martian – This is the movie Prometheus really should have been. Not necessarily in terms of content, but in terms of quality. It, like Prometheus, has such a slick look to it (credit to Dariusz Wolski‘s cinematography in both movies), but the Martian is so much more satisfying. Armed with a perfect cast, the humor of Weir’s novel and a number of surprisingly poignant moments, this is the best adaptation of the book you could have possibly hoped for. (Trailer)

Best Scene: Watney’s tearful takeoff

Watch This If You Like:Apollo 13Cast AwayMoon, Non-Prometheus Based Space Movies

sicario-poster4. Sicario – Oozing with a sense of dread from its very first frame, Sicario is easily the year’s most gripping film. A tense narco thriller about an idealistic FBI agent sent to assist in the war against the Mexican cartels, Sicario’s acting (Benicio deserves a best supporting actor nod for this), directing and cinematography really trump what could be a shrug worthy script in other hands. But be warned. This is a bleak film. Like abandon all hope bleak. If you’re feeling good about yourself and for some reason want to take yourself down ten notches, this is the movie for you. (Trailer)

Best Scene: “Go ahead. Eat.”

Watch This If You Like: TrafficPrisoners, a better version of True Detective Season 2, feeling utterly helpless, depression naps, depressing soundtracks, hiding in the closet when someone knocks on your door, fear, fear naps, reasons to never visit Juarez, anxiety attacks

the-revenant-character-poster-15. The Revenant – The Revenant is a grisly survival story propped up on the merits of its technical marvels, a fearless lead performance and a collection of starkly desolate landscapes. At some point, it becomes less of a movie and more of a ‘How to Win Leonardo Dicaprio an Oscar’ simulator, but I was still captivated. Despite all the draining brutality, hardship and ugliness, it still remains a stunningly beautiful movie. I expect this one to jump up my list when I get around to seeing it again. Definitely not for the squeamish though. (Trailer)

Best Scene: The opening ambush aka Get to the Boats!

Watch This If You Like: The GreyLast of the Mohicans, Terrence Malik movies, feeling cold

Inside Out6. Inside Out – Inside Out is a movie I liked significantly more the second time I watched it. Originally, I admired the visuals and the vibrant color palette employed by the animation team, but came away thinking it borrowed too much from its influences (Calvin and Hobbes, Osmosis Jones, Herman’s Head, and Wreck-It Ralph to name a few) and delivered a fun, but fairly innocuous story. The second time through I appreciated it a lot more, seeing it for the emotionally rich picture it really is. Even if you get hung up on the film’s rather accessible approach to psychology, I think there are themes that will resonate deeply with both kids and adults alike. However, the true accomplishment of this movie may be that it makes the audience misty eyed over a character named Bing Bong. Did not see that coming. (Trailer)

Best Scene: Joy realizes the merits of sadness/Bing Bong’s goodbye

Watch This If You Like: Pixar Movies, Feels, Wreck-It Ralph

creedpostersmall7. Creed – A far superior boxing movie than the strangely flat and disappointing Southpaw (which I saw someone accurately describe as a trash can fire of unearned sentimentality), Creed, despite having a trailer which unwisely chose to divulge the entire plot of the movie, succeeds just as much outside of the ring as it did inside the ring. Michael B. Jordan and Tessa Thompson turn in solid, likable performances, while Stallone, freed from his usual directing responsibilities in the series, gives a stripped down Rocky Balboa closer to that which we haven’t seen since the first Rocky movie, and it is a welcome surprise. After however many terrible bravado filled posture fest Expendables movies, I had forgotten Stallone could be so good. And that tracking shot in the first fight? Immaculate. Also very happy to see that Marvel just gave Creed’s director Ryan Coogler the directing job for Black Panther. Well deserved. (Trailer)

Best Scene: The one-take fight.

Watch This If You Like: Rocky Movies, Fruitvale Station, training montages
meru-poster8. Meru – Meru is an alpine climbing documentary that follows a team of climbers (climbing heavyweights Conrad Anker, Jimmy Chin and Renan Ozturk) who attempt to complete a first ascent of the seemingly impossible Shark Fin route on Mount Meru. Despite focusing on the kind of esoteric subject matter you would expect to be buried in the deep dark recesses of your Netflix que, Meru is breathtaking, harrowing (all three of its subjects nearly die on a semi-regular basis during filming), and at times profoundly touching (proof of which came when it was recently shortlisted by the academy for best documentary). Even if the outdoors aren’t your thing, give this documentary a shot. It is a truly powerful film that should not be missed. (Trailer)

Best Scene: Survivor’s guilt

Watch This If You Like: Touching the Void, The Summit, Everest

CO9p5Z2XAAAbyL69. Beasts of No Nation – This haunting adaptation of Uzodinma Iweala’s book is the gut punch you would expect it to be. A brutal and unflinching look at a fictitious group of child soldiers led by a cruel but charismatic leader, Beasts of No Nation was Netflix’s first real push into the production side of the movie business, and I think it was a great success. The performances from Idris Elba and Abraham Attah are a large part of why it works so well, but Cary Fukunaga’s production as a whole should be commended. This could not have been an easy film to make. And while it may be difficult to sit through, I do not think this movie should be ignored. I know everyone in America is binging Making a Murderer on Netflix right now, but when you finish, consider adding Beasts of No Nation to your que. (Trailer)

Best Scene: Commandant pumps up his troops

Watch This If You Like: City of God, Sin Nombre, God Grew Tired of Us

ant-man-poster-german10. Ant-Man – While it may not shock summer audiences quite like Guardians of the Guardians did last year, Ant-Man is a likable superhero flick that proves good casting and the right tone can go a long way toward making an almost unfilmable product worth watching. Paul Rudd, Evangeline Lilly, Michael Douglas and Michael Pena are especially good in this, but heavy doses of wit and a rather uncomplicated plot (as far as Marvel movies go at least) really prevent this from being the train wreck that it could have been (there is something about the template of this movie that reminds me a bit of DC’s Green Lantern movie, except if it wasn’t terrible, so if you want to see the disaster version of Ant-Man, watch Green Lantern as a cautionary tale of what could have been). Unfortunately, Ant-Man still falls into Marvel’s recent trappings of having forgettable and shrug worthy villains (Tom Hiddleston being the exception of course) seen in Corey Stoll’s sneering Daren Cross, whose journey from 0 to 60 on the doing bad things to people who disagree with you at board meetings scale seems completely absurd, but I guess you can’t have everything in a second tier Marvel superhero movie. Ant-man won’t blow you away, but at the end of the movie I was completely on board with seeing more of these characters in the Marvel universe. (Trailer)

Best Scene: Michael Pena’s heist pitches

Watch This If You Like: Guardians of the Galaxy, Heist movies, Paul Rudd

the-look-of-silence-poster11. The Look of Silence – Companion piece to the surreal and disturbing 2012 documentary ‘The Act of Killing’, filmmaker Joshua Oppenheimer’s second film regarding the Indonesian mass killings follows the brother of one of the victims as he confronts his brother’s killers. ‘The Look of Silence’ is so disturbing and difficult to watch. I had to stop it a few times and wasn’t sure I’d make it to the end. It’s easily one of the year’s best films, but I doubt I’ll ever watch it again. I have no idea how Josh Oppenheimer managed to make two movies about this subject without his life being seriously threatened. I assume he can’t go to Indonesia now and I fully understand why making these movies gave him insomnia and nightmares. (Trailer)

Best Scene: Is there such a thing as a best scene in a movie like this? I honestly don’t know. I can’t get this movie out of my head though. It’s haunting.

Watch This If You Like: The Act of Killing, Little Dieter Needs to Fly

IMG_028412. Everest – Stunning atmospheric visuals of the world’s tallest peak and a rock solid cast (Brolin, Knightley and Clarke are the standouts) headline this retelling of the 1996 Everest disaster (which Into Thin Air famously and controversially documented). While the spectacle and ruthless nature of alpine climbing are depicted effectively, it is unfortunately hampered by some odd pacing issues that keep it from being truly great. It also loses points for not having a scene where the climbers lug nitro glycerine up the mountain, but you can’t have everything. This is also the second movie on the list featuring John Krakauer. I guess it’s a good year to be Krakauer. (Trailer)

Best Scene: The storm approaches/Hall speaks with his wife

Watch This If You Like: North Face, Vertical Limit, Meru

Me-And-Earl-And-The-Dying-Girl-Poster13. Me and Earl and the Dying Girl – A mashup of ‘Be Kind Rewind’ and ‘The Fault in Our Stars’ with a sort of Wes Anderson for tweens vibe to it, ‘Me & Earl And The Dying Girl’ won a slew of awards at Sundance this year before triggering a bidding war for the rights to its theatrical release. Earl is better than most of the high school movies released in the last few years, but it’s also not without its problems. While I can’t fault a movie where the teen protagonist is obsessed with Werner Herzog, I do think there are about fifteen to twenty minutes where said protagonist becomes insufferable and the movie suffers as a result. Is this insufferable behavior most likely representative of actual teenage behavior? Sure, but it does prevent Me & Earl and The Dying Girl from taking that next step into becoming a classic coming of age story. It’s still an admirable movie however and RJ Cyler as Earl and Olivia Cooke as Rachel deliver fantastic performances. They should be given all the teenager roles in movies from now on. All of them! (Trailer)

Best Scene: Rachel watches her movie

Watch This If You Like: Be Kind Rewind, Fault in Our Stars, The Perks of Being a Wallflower 

MV5BMTA5MTU2NjIxOTNeQTJeQWpwZ15BbWU4MDA5Njc0MDIx._V1_SX640_SY720_14. The Salvation – A traditional gritty western revenge tale with no real frills to it, ‘The Salvation’ is bolstered by a strong lead performance from Mads Mikkelsen and spirited support work from Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Eva Green, Jonathan Pryce and Mikael Persbrandt. The is pretty much the Danish film industry’s answer to ‘Unforgiven,’ even if it doesn’t quite reach the brilliance of Eastwood’s swan song western. The Salvation may be rough around the edges, but there is still a lot to like here. I mean, Mads Mikkelsen is quietly one of the best actors in the world right now, so that alone should get any respectable western fan reason to chance ‘The Salvation.’ (Trailer)

Best Scene: A soldier’s revenge/Peter taunts his jailer

Watch This If You Like: The Proposition, UnforgivenBone Tomahawk

 

WHATWEDOINTHESHADOWS_moviefone15. What We Do In The Shadows – A kindred spirit to the deadpan humor of Flight of the Concords, this vampire mockumentary by FOTC creator Jemaine Clement and long time collaborator Taika Waititi is often hilarious. Owing a lot to mockumentary pioneers like Christopher Guest and horror comedy classics like Shaun of the Dead, this clever indie import from New Zealand could be a new Halloween classic in the making. And Stu. Stu really steals the show. Stu is the best. (Trailer)

Best Scene: You can’t eat Stu

Watch This If You Like: Flight of the Concords
Screen shot 2015-12-17 at 2.22.46 AM

16. Slow West – Slow West is an unsurprisingly slow western whose grim tone feels like an odd marriage between the Coen brothers, John Ford and Jim Jarmusch. Featuring some gorgeous vistas courtesy of New Zealand’s always scenic south island, a quality performance from Michael Fassbender and an undeniably tragic conclusion, this quirky tale is worth checking out if you’re a fan of the genre. It may not wow you with its gunplay and shootouts, but the film sure is pretty to look at. And if you find yourself fading while watching it, do yourself a favor and fast forward to the last twenty minutes. That is Slow West at its best. (Trailer)

Best Scene: The final shootout

Watch This If You Like: True Grit, Dead Man, Westerns

Continue reading

Star Wars Day Is Almost Upon Us

Tomorrow marks the long awaited release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens. After endless months of fan speculation and trailer scrutiny, the movie will find its way to theaters and finally put to rest whether or not the bitter aftertaste of the underwhelming prequels is dead and gone.

I have to wait to until Sunday to see it, which means I will officially stop paying attention to the internet starting tomorrow, because the internet is a cruel cruel place of spoilers and broken dreams. See everyone Sunday!

National Novel Writing Month Comes To A Close, National Making Sense of That Thing You Just Wrote Month Begins

Shield-Nano-Side-Blue-Brown-RGB-HiRes

National Novel Writing Month or NaNoWriMo as it’s known to writers and abbreviators alike came to a close last week and with it dreams of completed manuscripts were finally realized or dashed in one fell December day. Truthfully though, there can be no failures in National Novel Writing Month if you signed up and participated in any manner. Any attempt, however brief, demonstrates a will to put something on paper, and that in itself is an important victory in the writing process. I hope to see many debuts in 2016 that were written or at least cultivated during the month. I worked on a few things during this NaNoWriMo and it was productive, but November is always a little scattershot for me. I will probably never finish a whole book in the month’s span, at least not one that makes any sense or isn’t just a brief unintentional novelization of The Empire Strikes Back, but I still like using the window as a springboard to get a chunk of work done on some end of the year projects.

With NaNoWriMo officially at a close though, a new important and terrifying month falls upon writers. December. December is not only the magical month where you relearn that your eyelashes can freeze together if you fall asleep at a bus stop, but it’s also the month when the permafrost forces you back inside to sift through the 90,000 word fever dream you scribbled out in November. This is the month that will find you swaddled in blankets at your desk, sarcastically muttering, “Winter is coming” to your dog, like it’s his fault that you’re doing revisions with mittens on and nothing in your story makes sense. But even before you enter into the frigid muttering at your dog stage of the month, you should really throw the manuscript in a drawer for a week or so before attempting any revisions. Maybe spend a few days reading some other books and that time and distance away from your work will be invaluable when you choose to return to it, armed with a more objective eye and less muttering. And if you find yourself incapable of shutting your mind off from the story during that week, that’s still a positive sign, but maybe just confine your output to writing down some thoughts in a notebook and keep your manuscript locked away like it’s that creepy kid’s book from the Babadook.

Also, for those who did participate in NaNoWriMo and are in the midst of revisions, especially in regards to tinkering with their characters and their motivations, this Hayao Miyazaki video essay is quite a good watch. It does an excellent job touching on why Miyazaki’s films and characters are compelling beyond the gorgeous hand drawn visuals.

The Ultimate 2015 Trailer Mashup

Youtube user Sleepy Skunk has put together a great trailer mashup from all the movie trailers of 2015. This style of montage is something he’s been doing for a few years now, and each one he’s done has been superbly edited and scored. 2015’s mashup is certainly no different, especially in the use of The Heavy’s ‘Aint No Place For a Hero‘ to kick things off. How many movies can you name from the mashup?

If Craigslist Had Existed When Jurassic Park Was Hiring

craigslistJurassic_Park1

[In honor of Jurassic World’s release and subsequent success, I am reposting the Jurassic Park entry of my old ‘If Craigslist Had Existed When’ series]

Staff Needed For Completely Safe Island Paradise To Work With Harmless Animals (Hawaii)
Reply to: whoeversaidtherearedinosaurshereislying@hotmail.com
1993-05-15

Yet to be named island amusement park is seeking staff members for their grand opening to the public. Job will require you to relocate to beautiful Costa Rica where you will be helicoptered into the park past scenic waterfalls, while uplifting instrumental music plays for you.

Duties include zoo keeping, light janitorial work, leading tours of the park, data entry and making sure the animals don’t master asexual reproduction due to the unstable nature of their substituted amphibian DNA.

The ideal candidates are people who can keep a secret if, oh I don’t know, the wildlife somehow mauls one of the dockworkers beyond identifiable recognition (which totally won’t happen). Grave digging and document shredding experience are also a plus.

We are also looking to fill a few research positions after recently experiencing some unexpected vacancies. If you have ever been accused of genetic tampering or have been thrown out of a lab while the administration shouted, “This is not God’s work! They’re abominations!” then we’d love to talk to you!

We’re not really in the market for those overeducated types. The ones who get hung up on things like morals, ethics, common sense or would openly criticize the park’s owner for letting his grandkids take a tour of the park before it was deemed safe.

What’s that? Science makes your head hurt because it’s all so confusing and complicated? Well, we need computer programers, too! We are looking for talented coders and designers. We welcome applicants who may be overweight, chain smoke or have some experience running security grids that would keep the totally harmless and docile animals away from tourists and staff.

So apply now! Don’t listen to that string of slanderous posts put up by widows of ex-employees, claiming that this park is overrun by horrible, horrible dinosaurs, because that sounds like crazy talk to me. You will totally not be working with dinosaurs, because dinosaurs are make believe.

Must:
– Be good at climbing fences (in case electric fences suddenly activate while you are climbing them).
– Have a working knowledge of how dinosaurs would hunt you if they were hunting you (again, dinosaurs don’t exist, but it wouldn’t hurt to brush up on their hunting patterns).
– Be a calm personality, who won’t shout things like, “Oh God, they’re testing the fences! They’re getting smarter!” or “They got out! This is how it happened in my nightmare!” if something goes wrong.
– Have experience firing tranquilizer guns at agile, uncontrollable genetically engineered reptiles.
– Not have a problem signing a non-disclosure agreement that says you can never talk about your work, which is again, totally safe.

• Locations: Costa Rica, Isla Nublar, Isla Sorna, other assorted shady islands and B-sites.
• Compensation: Competitive pay, an exciting workplace (much better than the San Diego Zoo!) and the unique opportunity to wipe out an entire species if they free themselves from their cages.
• Please, no undercover investigative reporters applying for positions as catering staff. We do background checks and really, there is nothing to expose here at this completely safe and well thought out park, we swear.

Avoid scams and fraud by dealing locally! Beware of any employer preemptively promising that you will not be working with dinosaurs. It is highly likely that you will in fact be working with dinosaurs, despite their extinction during the late Cretaceous Period. More info.